Stepping back into the Kitchen I never really left

springsHi, friends.

I think I’m ready to be back in the kitchen.

Earlier this year, Ian and I separated and then divorced. We are co-parenting with kindness and love, and we are finishing our second semester of “Modern Family 101.”

I’ve never had a class quite like this before, but I’d say that nearly a year later, we are passing the course with flying colors.

Breaking up is hard to do, especially when we, as writers in the digital age, live so much of our lives online. We have chosen to create that virtual world, but we are also at its mercy. I’ve been itching to write so many tales while also working on that boundary thing.

However, there’s no sense in keeping a blog if you don’t bring authenticity to the space, and I crave a writing outlet that has nothing to do with the paycheck that keeps me afloat.


So, here I stand at the door, with (reusable canvas) bags full of real talk about love, loss, hope, desire, attachment and disappointment that I’m ready to slowly unpack, some privately on my own, others in full view for the world to see.

It’s a cycle I’m sure you know well.

I’ve been mulling all year about how much of it I’d like to share here. I spend all day writing, there’s still more to be written in these fingers.


Like about how we’re living in this nesting arrangement, in which the boys stay in the main house and Ian and I swap between that residence and a side apartment that we also share, just not at the same time. The boys are loving it; we’re loving it. It’s working in a way that others’ in similar situations might be interested to learn.

I need a place where I can recommend reading “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, who helped me learn about vulnerability and finding the courage to open your heart even when you think you can’t.

I need a place to tell my fellow Type A do-gooders who don’t know how to say “no” about Melody Beattie’s work in co-dependency.

At Beattie’s urging, I’m trying to make sure that my heart knows when it’s given enough, both online and off, so thank you for your patience while I find a slightly new voice in blogging from a slightly deeper place inside the well of the Feminist Kitchen.

Swimming deep down to the bottom, I’ve unearthed forgotten treasures that have been gathering mossy algae for a decade or more. Other time, I’m floating like an otter on the surface, basking in the sheer joy of the being in the sun.


Lots of heavy stuff, but far more lightness than I expected.


Those moments of levity caught up with me on my yoga mat, at the top of Enchanted Rock, in boots two-stepping on a dance floor, along the seams of fabric I’ve pieced together for a quilt, on planes to see people I love, on dates trying to figure out what exactly I am looking for in other human beings whom I might one day love.

Screenshot 2014-12-15 at 21.16.26

We’ll see what stories I feel like weaving here in the coming weeks and months. It might just be quick odes to the things that are inspiring me on my journey, or maybe I’ll muster the ability to write about the rich little nuggets that you excavate when you do such major renovations to the emotional house that you call home.

And you can’t have a home without a kitchen, and I’m so glad to be back.

Screenshot 2014-12-15 at 21.15.29

5 responses to “Stepping back into the Kitchen I never really left

  1. Addie – So glad to see you writing here. You write like others wish to paint – with beauty and a sense of effortlessness. I know you’re in a period of transition. Please know that I am hear (in Houston) cheering you on.

  2. As difficult as is the transition from married life to the challenges of divorce and co-parenting, it is nice to see others who are willing to share how they handle the situation. It took a while for me to be willing to write about it online but I found it to be liberating as it helped me move forward. It’s also refreshing to see the not-so-pretty back stories – the real lives behind the often perfect lifestyles we tend to portray online. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I was never married and have no kids but I split from a 6 year relationship in October 13. A lot of your post resonated in me. It took me almost a year before I could write about the full break up (near my birthday this past July.) I read Daring Greatly and one of Melody Beattie’s books (before the split). I struggled with knowing what to share and what to not share. I started sharing more and close friends are a little taken aback how open I am in a public forum but I share everything with careful thought and deliberation with a focus on my experience. I don’t focus on the POV of others involved and aside from stripped down facts, don’t “throw them under the bus.”

    We are honored as readers to get insight into your personal life as sometimes it makes us feel less alone. And I hope everyone knows that you don’t owe your readers these personal glimpses!

  4. Thank you for generously sharing your path. I always wrestle with just how much to share, and am beginning a new blog for less foodcentric thoughts and experiences. I’ll be looking to you for guidance and inspiration, as always!
    Much love,

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